Marriage Preparation Steps
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Congratulations on your upcoming wedding in the Catholic Church!
We are excited you are preparing for the Sacrament of Matrimony at St. Helen Catholic Church! We would like to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding. The journey of making joyful disciples begins with marriage, and it continues throughout the life of a family.
It is our hope and prayer that through your journey of preparation process, you will acquire a deeper understanding of God’s plan for your marriage, and that you will learn the truths and virtues you will need to live out your vocation as husband and wife.
Steps in the Wedding Preparation Process
Step 1: Complete the Wedding Registration Form:
Please fill the online registration form, all information is needed.
Reserve a venue after you have reserved your wedding date.
Please choose a wedding date that is at least nine (9) months out from the day you are filling the registration form.
Step 2: Initial Orientation
Once you have submitted an online Wedding Registration Form, you will be contacted by a staff member from the Marriage and Family Life Office for an initial orientation. At this informal meeting, we will go over the marriage preparation process at St. Helens, start the necessary paperwork and reserve the wedding date.
Step 3: Conversation with a priest or deacon.
The staff from the Marriage and Family Life Office will schedule your initial conversation with a priest or deacon. At that time the prenuptial questionnaire will be completed and you will receive information about how to proceed with the FOCCUS or PREPARE/ENRICH Inventory. Thank you for arriving on time and remember to bring all requested documentation.
Step 4: Relationship Inventory (FOCCUS or Prepare-Enrich)
The FOCCUS or PREPARE/ENRICH Inventory is offered online. Once the FOCCUSS or PREPARE-ENRICH fee is paid, you will be emailed a code to take the inventory. If you do not have access to a computer or e-mail, you can come to the Parish office and you can complete the inventory on one of the Parish’s computers.
Step 5: Attend a Marriage Engagement Retreat.
You will need to attend the Marriage Engagement Retreat offered by the Diocese of Austin or any other similar program offered at a Catholic Church and bring the certificate to the staff of the Marriage and Family Life Office.Marriage prep retreats:
If suggested by a priest or deacon, the two of you will meet with a sponsor couple during the wedding preparation process.
Step 6: Attend a NFP Class
You will need to attend a Natural Family Planning class and bring the certificate to the Marriage and Family Life Office.
We require the one hour class, however couples can benefit for taking the complete course before the wedding.NFP Classes:
http://www.austindiocese.org/offices-ministries/offices/pro-life-office/nfp
Step 7: Bring all necessary paper work
During the initial orientation, the staff from the Marriage and Family Life Office will tell you about the documentation that is necessary, the due dates and other helpful/important information.
Among the documents needed for the marriage package are: Baptism Certificate (issued within the last six month before the wedding), 4 affidavits of free status, Marriage Engagement Retreat and NFP Class certificates, select reading for the wedding from “Together for Life” book. If Baptized Catholic, it is preferred if groom and bride are confirmed before the wedding; if that is the case, please present a copy of the Confirmation Certificate.
Depending on the circumstances, some couples may need to submit additional documents, permissions and dispensations. If that is the case, you will be informed about them during the initial orientation.
Important Note 1: if you are getting married at another parish within the Diocese of Austin. The marriage package needs to be done (with all required documentation) at least two weeks before the wedding, because St. Helen’s staff have to send the package to the parish where you are getting married. The extra two weeks, will give the other parish enough time to review it and request anything additional if necessary.
Important Note 2: if you are getting married in the US outside the Diocese of Austin or in another country. The marriage package needs to be completed at least one month before the wedding date. Here is the reason why the extra time is needed. St. Helens’ staff prepares and sends the marriage package to the Canonical and Tribunal Services Offices at the Diocese of Austin. The Canonical and Tribunal Services Office reviews it and sends the package to the Canonical and Tribunal Services Offices to the diocese where the parish that you are getting married belongs to. They review the packages and send it to the Parish where the wedding will take place. We understand that some countries have a postal services that takes longer, please make sure to mention this to the Marriage and Family Life staff during the initial orientation.
Step 8: Rehearsal
The Church is the House of God. Therefore, everyone is asked to demonstrate respect for where they are and we require that all attendants dress accordingly and modestly.
Our goal is to assure that the bride and groom feel confident about the liturgy when they leave the rehearsal. This requires the presence of everyone who will have a part in the wedding liturgy, when possible. If you decide to invite other guest, please make sure that they have to remain quiet and seated during the rehearsal.
Rehearsal will take approximately one hour and must begin on time because there are often other events in the church after the scheduled end of the rehearsal time. Please make sure that all members of the wedding party arrive ten minutes prior to the scheduled rehearsal time.
The rehearsal may be conducted by the priest or deacon presiding, by the parish staff or by a combination of the two. The priest or deacon presiding will let you know how that will work.
Children’s safety issues: For the sake of the security and safety of children they are never to be apart from direct adult supervision while on church property. This means that children may not wander the parish property unattended. Also, children who need to leave the pews during the liturgy to go to the bathroom must be accompanied by an adult. Please include that as a notation in your program.
Wedding Planning
Location of your Wedding
A wedding outside a sacred place is becoming one of the most frequently asked questions regarding the Rite of Matrimony. Increasingly, requests are being made to have weddings literally “outside.” Cannon Law, or Church law, is very clear in this regard: “A marriage between Catholics or between a Catholic party and a non-Catholic is to be celebrated in the parish church.” (c.1118.1)
The Wedding Ceremony
If both parties of the couple are practicing Catholics, the Church invites them to marry within the context of the Eucharist (Wedding Mass). In this case a priest is the ordinary witness of the wedding and presider at the Eucharist. For a marriage between a Catholic and a fiancé of another religious tradition or for convalidations (civilly married), we invite them to marry within the Liturgy of the Word, followed by the Rite of Matrimony and concluded by the Lord's Prayer (without Mass). In this case, a Deacon will serve as the minister.
From the selection of your readings and music, to your choice of attire and attendants, the wedding takes place because of you. You are the ministers of this sacrament. What kind of statement will you make? Which readings will you have proclaimed? What kind of music will mark the occasion? Which special rituals? Who will have a special role? Liturgy is a powerful form of communication. The order in which events occur gives particular meaning to the events. The placement of the Rite of Matrimony after the proclamation of God's word, for example, shows that matrimony is a response of the couple to a call or invitation from God.
The clergy of St. Helen are prepared to assist you in your ideas, reflections, and choices for the best expressions of your love and faith. We would like to help you plan a wedding that is both reverent and beautiful. The basic ritual structure is given to us by the universal Church, but pastoral options are available for you to personalize your celebration.
The Wedding Day
St. Helen is our parish home. We ask that you treat our facilities with the respect that you would treat your own treasured home and possessions. We ask that the wedding couple and their friends clean up any areas used during preparation for the wedding. There is NO SMOKING, EATING, or DRINKING in the church building, bridal room, narthex or the restrooms.
Dress Code
Wedding gowns, attendant dresses and guest attire should be modest in nature befitting the sacred character of the wedding celebration in St. Helen. Gowns and dresses with bare midriffs, short dresses/skirts, high slits, skin-tight outfits, plunging necklines, or backless gowns are not dignified or appropriate for the wedding rehearsal, Marriage Rites and/or Mass.
Shawl needed Shawl needed
No shawl necessary No shawl necessary
Dressing Room Facilities
St. Helen provides the Calming Place as a bridal room for the convenience of the bride and her attendants. The men are encouraged to come prepared for the ceremony, because we do not have dressing facilities for them. Reminder: please no food, drink, tobacco or gum in the church, bridal room, narthex or the restrooms. Please designate responsible people to put things in order immediately after the Liturgy. For example: tidy the bridal room, foyer and church; gather the flower boxes, hangers, wrappings, etc.; put all trash in the trashcan. Please have this task completed by someone you trust within 30 minutes of the end of the wedding ceremony.
The Planning of the Liturgy:
It is an important part of marriage preparation for you to help prepare the liturgy. You and your future spouse will help decide the readings, prayers, etc. With this, it is important to note that all planning must fall under the norms determined by the Church and exercised by the priest or deacon officiating your wedding.
Flowers:
Many couples donate their flowers to the church after their wedding. If you choose to do so, we are grateful, we just ask that you choose flowers with the appropriate liturgical season in mind. When decorating, we ask that you do not move any of the church decorations, and please do not place any décor on the altar. You may place flowers in front of the altar, as long as they do not cover or extend above the altar or restrict movement of the liturgical ministers. Please also keep in mind that a kneeler for the bridal couple may be used in front of the altar during the ceremony, which would obstruct the view of flower decorations in front of the altar.
Some couples present a bouquet of flowers to the Blessed Mother. Though it’s not required, our Blessed Mother would love for the two of you to entrust yourselves to her maternal care on your wedding day. Presenting her with a bouquet of flowers by placing it at the feet of her statue is a great way to symbolize that gesture of your hearts.
Candles
The use of a unity candle is optional. If you wish to incorporate it during the celebration please let Marriage and Family Life staff know at least a month before the wedding. You are responsible for bringing all candles, the parish will have a table in the sanctuary for that purpose.
Liturgical Decor
Altar cloths and any hangings or liturgical environmental enhancements are an important part of the current Liturgical season and may not be moved or removed. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We ask that you do not use aisle runners.
All doors, pews and aisles are to remain accessible.
We ask that pew decorations be simple. You may use bows; we just ask that you secure them in a way that will not scratch or harm the finish of the pews.
You may use flower petals to decorate the aisle, so long as they are paper, silk, or plastic and made with non-staining material.
Worship Aids
Worship aids or programs are optional. If you choose to use worship aids or programs they must be submitted to the Marriage and Family Office Staff for approval a month before the wedding ceremony. This is to ensure that appropriate artwork, order of service, and photos used reflect the sacrament being celebrated.
Music
As soon as you have your wedding date confirmed at the church, please make an appointment with our Music Director, Dr. Barry Williamson at (512) 970-3070 or barry@sainthelens.org to select a program of suitable music for your wedding. Recorded or taped music is not permitted.
Our sound equipment is valuable and delicate, we prefer that you use St. Helen Church musicians from our regular choirs for your ceremony. However, if you do opt to use a musicians from other parish, they would have to provide ALL their sound equipment (microphones, speakers, music stands, etc.).
As a Sacrament of the Church, the celebration and blessing of the marriage covenant calls for music that will reflect the couple's understanding of the rite of matrimony within the context of the church. The selection of the wedding music is to reflect the sacred nature and sense of joy that characterize all Christian worship. The music and words chosen for the rite of matrimony are to sustain and support the prayerful nature of the liturgical celebration and be an appropriate complement to the scriptural readings and formal prayer of the rite.
The following questions are to be considered in planning the music:
a. Does the musical score evoke a sense of sacred action and call the community to joyful prayer?
b. Does a particular selection emphasize and enhance that part of the liturgical celebration at which it occurs?
c. Does the overall music selection allow for some congregational participation?
d. Does the text express a biblical view of love and marriage?
A "yes" response to the above questions will assure that lyrics will celebrate not only the human love between two persons, but love as a reflection of the God who is love, and the wedding music will emphasize the theme of sacred celebration. Music within a Catholic wedding must be approved by the Music Director.
Photography
Because a wedding is worship, we ask that all who work at St. Helen, including photographers and videographers, act in a professional manner, respecting the sacredness of the ceremony and the assembly gathered in prayer. During the ceremony, picture-taking should be unobtrusive and respectful. If videotape equipment is used, it should be set up in a stationary place out of the sight lines of the assembly. Photographers may use the balcony.
Respecting the schedule of other weddings or church functions, the church can be made available for picture-taking after the ceremony. We recommend that photographers and videographers visit the church prior to the ceremony to become familiar with the surroundings and lighting conditions. During the procession, photographers/videographers must be unobtrusive and not obstruct or hold up the movement of the minister and wedding party.
During the ceremony, those taking pictures may not:
• be in the sanctuary (the altar area)
• stand in front of the last occupied pew in the center aisle
• be positioned between the couple and the priest
• stand on the pews or chairs
• use flash or flood lights during the ceremony
• use any theatrical spotlights already positioned in the church without prior written approval
Post ceremony photographs are limited to twenty minutes immediately following the conclusion of the wedding ceremony, flash and additional lighting may be used during this time. Photos that include jumping, posing in staged positions are strictly prohibited inside St. Helen’s Church. These photos are appropriate for the reception venue, alternate location or outside St. Helen’s Church.
Clean up After the Wedding
You may want to appoint someone to remove ALL decorations after the service in order to ensure that the church, altar area and aisles are left as you found them. Also, please check the Bride’s dressing room and rest room and remove all boxes, wrappers, cameras and anything else that you left there. We have no one to “make ready” the church after your wedding, and services follow. So thank you for ensuring a clean church for us!
IMPORTANT NOTICE:
The throwing of rice, birdseed, confetti, GLITTER, potpourri or any other material or bringing animals inside the church, outside the church, or anywhere on the church premises or inside St. Helen facilities is NOT PERMITTED.
The use of props are NOT APPROPRIATE in St. Helen and are better utilized at your reception venue.
Professional Wedding Planners
If you hire a professional wedding planner ask he/she has contact staff from the Marriage and Family Life Office to determine their role in the rehearsal or the actual wedding. These are under the guidance of the priest or deacon presiding.
A professional wedding planner may help you to coordinate guest at the rehearsal within the context of parish guidelines and under the instruction of the priest, deacon or parish staff assigned to your wedding. Please make sure that your hired planner understands this. The planner need not be present at the rehearsal and may sit with the congregation during the wedding if he/she likes.
Schedule
Please choose a date at least nine (9) months from the date your started the marriage preparation process.
Weddings may be scheduled during Lent. However, since Lent is a season of reconciliation and reflection; thus, festive celebrations are inconsistent with the spirit of the season, so the church will have no additional decorations.
There are other weekends and weekdays on which weddings cannot be scheduled for various reasons.
Also, if a holy day of obligation falls on a Saturday, there will be no weddings scheduled on that day.
Rehearsals are normally scheduled on the Friday prior to the wedding at 4:00 pm or 5:00 pm (these times may not be available on every weekend). They are one hour in length. Rehearsals may also be scheduled earlier in the week if the church is available, especially if the celebration takes place on a weekday.
Schedule for Wedding and Convalidation:
Saturday:
11:00 am and 1:30 pm
Friday:
2:00 pm and 3:15 pm
Tuesday and Thursday:
5:30 pm
Schedule for Liturgy of the Word:
Saturday:
11:00 am and 1:30 pm
After the 5:00 pm Mass
Friday:
2:00 pm and 3:15 pm
Tuesday and Thursday:
5:30 pm
Sunday:
After the 11:00 am, 1:00 pm and 6:00pm Masses
Donations and Stipends
Although religion is a spiritual experience, places of worship are institutions which require financial support. The following are donations for wedding ceremonies at St. Helen. To reserve the date of your wedding the amount must be paid to the Parish Business Administration Office of St. Helens.
Donation:
Parishioner: $200.00. A parishioner is one who is a registered and active member at St. Helens.
Non Parishioner: $400.00. Not a registered parishioner of St. Helen Catholic Church.
Included in the Wedding Donation:
Building usage: 1 hour for scheduled rehearsal, 45 minutes before the wedding for set-up, 1 hour for the wedding and 20 minutes for pictures and clean up after the wedding.
Utilities and custodial services
Stipends
The stipend for the priest or deacon is a free-will offering, and is not included in the above costs, but is suggested.
Contact Person:
Carmen Cortes-Harms Audrey Mora
Director Administrative Assistant
Marriage and Family Life Marriage and Family Life Office
Phone: (512) 863-3041 Phone: (512) 863-3041
Email: Carmen@sainthelens.org Email: Audrey@sainthelens.org
Your Engagement
By POPE FRANCIS
Engagement — one hears it in the word — has to do with trust, confidence, and reliability. Confidence in the vocation that God gives, since holy matrimony is first and foremost the discovery of a call from God. It is certainly a beautiful thing that young people today can choose to marry on the basis of mutual love. But the very freedom of that bond requires a conscious harmony in making the decision, not just a simple understanding of the attraction or feeling, for a moment or for a short time ... it calls for a journey.
Engagement, in other words, is the time when the two are called to perform a real labor of love, an involved and shared work that delves deep. Here they discover one another little by little, i.e. the man “learns” about woman by learning about this woman, his fiancée; and the woman “learns” about man by learning about this man, her fiancé. Let us not underestimate the importance of this learning: it is a beautiful endeavor, and love itself requires it, for it is not simply a matter of carefree happiness or enchanted emotion.
The biblical account speaks of all creation as a beautiful work of God’s love. The Book of Genesis says that: “God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (Gen 1:31). Only when it is finished does God “rest”. We understand from this image that God’s love, which brought forth the world, was not an impromptu decision. No! It was a beautiful work. The love of God created the concrete conditions for an irrevocable covenant, one that is strong and lasting.
The covenant of love between man and woman — a covenant for life — cannot be improvised. It isn’t made up one day to the next. There is no “marriage express”: one needs to work on love, one needs to walk. The covenant of love between man and woman is something learned and refined. I venture to say it is a covenant carefully crafted. To make two lives one is almost a miracle of freedom and the heart entrusted to faith.
Perhaps we should emphasize this point more, because our “emotional coordinates” have gone a bit askew. Those who claim to want everything right away, then back out of everything — right away — at the first difficulty (or at the first opportunity). There is no hope for the trust and fidelity entailed in the gift of self, if prevailing tendency is to consume love like some kind of “supplement” for mental and physical well-being. This is not love! Engagement focuses on the will to care for something together that must never be bought or sold, betrayed or abandoned, however tempting the offer may be.
God, too, when he speaks of the covenant with his people, does so several times in terms of betrothal. He says in the Book of Hosea: “I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness; and you shall know the Lord” (2:19-20).
The Church, in her wisdom, guards the distinction between being engaged and being spouses — it’s not the same — especially in view of the delicateness and depth of this test. Let us be careful not to disregard lightheartedly the wisdom of this teaching, which also comes from the experience of happy married life. The powerful symbols of the body hold the keys to the soul: We cannot treat the bonds of the flesh lightly, without opening some lasting wound in the spirit (cf. 1 Cor 6:15-20).
Of course, today’s culture and society have become rather indifferent to the delicateness and seriousness of this step. Engagement is a path of life that has to ripen like fruit; it is a way of maturing in love, until the moment it becomes matrimony.
Pre-marriage programs are a special expression of preparation. Engagement needs to be re-evaluated as a time of getting to know one another and sharing a plan. The path of preparation for marriage should be implemented from this perspective, also with the benefit of the simple but intense witness of Christian spouses. And also by focusing on the essentials: the Bible, by consciously rediscovering it together; prayer, in its liturgical dimension, but also in “domestic prayer” to live out in the home, the Sacraments, the Sacramental life, Confession, ... where the Lord comes to abide in the engaged couple and prepare them truly to receive one another “with the grace of Christ”; and fraternity with the poor and those in need, who lead us to live soberly and to share.
Engaged couples who commit themselves to this path both grow, and all of this leads to preparing for a beautiful wedding in a different way, not in a worldly way, but in a Christian way! Let us consider these words of God we have heard, when he speaks to his people as bridegroom to his future bride: “I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness; and you shall know the Lord” (Hos 2:19-20). May every engaged couple think of this and say to one another: “I will take you as my bride, I will take you as my bridegroom”. Wait for that moment. It is a moment, it is a path that goes slowly ahead, but it is a path of maturation. The steps of the journey should not be rushed. This is how we mature, step by step.
The time of betrothal can truly become a time of initiation, into what? Into surprise. Into the surprise of the spiritual gifts with which the Lord, through the Church, enriches the horizon of the new family that stands ready to live in his blessing.